Getting in your own way

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and before you got a chance to really understand what you were doing, you are contemplating on the words that were said hours ago.

You are looking for clues of reality or trying to find Waldo in the text and before long you are bugging out over the possibilities of a meaning to a conversation that you imagined all by yourself.

After time past, unanswered questions create their own fill in the blanks and without conscious thought you have had a full on conversation with your self about yourself starring someone you have never even sent a memo to…that yall were having a round table.

So…when I say I have a vivid imagination…good lord do I. I have set the coordinates of a whole rendezvous in my mind from an unanswered text message.

Through years of maturity and “that didn’t go so well” experiences, I have learned to turn down the emotions and turn up the logic.

I had to understand that even if there was a small or high percentage I was right, did I really want to be torturing myself with the possibilities of a possibility. Like really….

The only thing I was doing was allowing my anxiety and imagination to get in my own way. If I gave into the emotions, I create a background and the only option was to respond. And once you respond, the crazy has been unleashed and there is no brittling the effects or undo button.

If only I thought this plan through, I may have understood that most situations should be categorized into the box of over thinking and looked through with the binoculars of rationality.

Not everyone is out to do you dirty. Not every distance placed is against you. Sometimes it’s for your safety. Every one has their own demons that they are tackling. Most people know when they are in a state that their demons aren’t equipped to play well with others today.

I realize that it’s my fear of vulnerability cause the worst feeling is to put your all into someone and they were on some other stuff.

Take it try not to jump to conclusions.

If need be, have an actual conversation with the next person and do yourself a favor and not cast yourself the role of speaking for others.

Lastly….breathe

Enjoy your week everyone.

~Kitty D ūü¶čūü¶č~

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